Prepare for a performance conversation.
Answer five short questions. You'll get a prep sheet that helps you walk in ready — whether this is a check-in, a tough feedback talk, or something more serious.
Prep Sheet
Performance Conversation —
The Message
What you've observed and need to name
What Success Looks Like
The 30–60 day picture, made concrete
Your Support Plan
What you're offering
A Way to Start
An opening that's direct and fair
Your Worry, Named
So it doesn't drive the room without you knowing
Before you go in
Resources
Every kind of performance conversation — from quarterly check-ins to formal plans. Open what you need.
Per employee
Annual or mid-year
Performance Review Record
One record per employee per review cycle. Document what’s going well, what needs to change, agreed goals, and next steps. Shareable with HR.
Every quarter
Quarterly Check-In
A structured check-in — not a performance event. What went well, what needs focus, goals for next quarter, energy check, and your honest read as their manager.
When it’s formal
Performance Improvement Plan
A documented PIP with clear expectations, support offered, check-in records, and outcome. Built to be shared with HR. Use only after informal conversations have been tried and documented.
Before any performance conversation — check-in, feedback talk, or formal review. Preparation is what separates a useful conversation from a damaging one.
Situation — Behavior — Impact. The simplest structure for giving feedback that lands. Use it as a skeleton, not a script.
S — Situation
Anchor to a specific moment
Name the context. When, where, what was happening. This stops the feedback from feeling like a character judgment.
"In last Tuesday's client call…" / "Over the last two sprints…" / "When you presented to the board on Thursday…"
B — Behavior
Stick to what you observed
What did they actually do or say? Stick to observable facts. Avoid "you seemed" or "you clearly" — those are interpretations, not observations.
"You interrupted the client three times before they finished." / "The report was submitted at 6pm when it was due at noon." / "You said the deadline was unrealistic in front of the team."
I — Impact
Say what it cost — the team, the client, you, them
This is why the conversation matters. Make the effect real, not abstract. Connect it to outcomes, relationships, or trust.
"It made the client feel dismissed, and they haven't responded since." / "The team had to stay late to cover, and they're frustrated." / "It signals to the team that the deadline doesn't apply equally."
Two frameworks for different moments. COIN for delivering feedback that leads to action. GROW for coaching conversations where the goal is for them to find their own answer.
COIN — for feedback conversations
Context → Observation → Impact → Next step
Similar to SBI but with an explicit action step. Context sets the scene. Observation names what you saw (not what you think). Impact says why it matters. Next step makes the conversation forward-looking, not just critical.
"In the client review last Thursday [C], you presented figures that hadn’t been checked against the latest data [O]. The client caught the discrepancy and it undermined their confidence in the work [I]. Going forward, I’d like a review step before any client-facing numbers go out [N]."
GROW — for coaching conversations
Goal → Reality → Options → Will
Use GROW when you want them to solve the problem, not when you want to tell them the answer. The manager’s role is to ask questions, not to lead. Resist the urge to jump to Options before you’ve properly explored Reality.
Goal: "What would a good outcome look like for you here?" Reality: "What’s actually happening right now? What have you tried?" Options: "What could you do? What else?" Will: "Which of those will you do, and by when?"
Good goals give people something real to aim at and something to celebrate when they get there. Use whichever framework fits your team — the point isn’t the format, it’s the clarity.
SMART goals
Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound
Best for individual deliverables and near-term performance targets. The test: could a reasonable person read this goal and agree in 90 days whether it was met? If not, it’s not specific enough.
Weak: "Improve stakeholder communication." Strong: "Send a written project update to all key stakeholders every Friday by 12pm, starting next week."
OKRs
Objective + Key Results
Best for directional, ambitious goals where the outcome matters more than the task. The Objective is qualitative and inspiring. The Key Results are specific and measurable — they tell you whether the Objective was achieved. Aim for 3 KRs per Objective. 70% completion is often considered success in OKR culture.
Objective: "Make our onboarding the reason new hires stay." KR1: First-week NPS ≥ 8. KR2: 90-day retention rate up to 95%. KR3: Every new hire has a documented 30/60/90 plan by day 3.
The goal-setting conversation
Set goals together
Goals that people helped create are goals they’re more likely to own. Start by asking what they want to achieve and how it connects to the team’s priorities. Then shape it together. The manager’s job is to make goals ambitious but believable — stretch without snap.
"What would make this quarter feel meaningful to you? What’s the one thing you’d be proud of at the end of it?"
Calibration is what turns individual manager judgments into consistent, fair assessments across a team or organization. Use this before any review cycle where ratings are compared across managers.
What calibration is for
Be consistent across cases
The goal is not for everyone to agree. It’s to ensure that a "strong performer" means the same thing to every manager in the room, and that ratings reflect evidence rather than relationships, visibility, or recency bias.
Before the meeting, agree on what each rating level actually means in practice for your team. Write it down. Reference it during the session.
How to run it
Evidence first, ratings second
Each manager briefly presents their ratings with specific evidence. Others can challenge or support with their own observations. Ratings can be revised. The final rating should be defensible to the employee — if you couldn’t explain it to them, it probably needs more work.
Challenge prompt: "What specific evidence are you basing that rating on? Is there anything that contradicts it that we should weigh?"
Watch for
Common biases that skew calibration
Recency bias: the last month dominates the whole year. Halo/horn effect: one strong or weak moment colors everything. Affinity bias: rating people who remind you of yourself more generously. Visibility bias: remote or quieter employees get underrated because they’re less present in your memory.
Ask the room: "Is there anyone on this list who might be underrated because of how they work rather than how they perform?"
The earlier you catch a performance concern, the more options you have. These are the patterns to watch for — and what to do before they need to become formal.
Signal: Sudden drop in output
Quality or quantity of work falls without explanation
Before drawing conclusions, ask what’s changed. Workload, team dynamics, personal circumstances, unclear priorities, or disengagement can all look identical from the outside — and understanding the cause is what makes the response useful.
Repair: A direct, private conversation. "I’ve noticed a change in your work over the last few weeks. I’m not here to criticise — I’m here to understand. What’s going on?"
Signal: Disengagement
Declining participation, energy, or care
Disengagement is one of the quieter signals — easy to miss when you’re focused on delivery. The earlier you notice and name it, the more room there is to do something about it.
Repair: "I want to ask you something directly. On a scale of 1 to 10, how motivated are you feeling about your work right now? What would move that number up?"
Signal: Friction with the team
Complaints from peers, difficult dynamics, recurring conflict
Investigate before you act. Get specific examples. Hear from both sides. What looks like a behavior problem is sometimes a role mismatch, an unclear process, or a team dynamic that everyone owns. Name what you’ve heard without turning it into a tribunal.
Repair: "I’ve had some feedback I want to share with you. I’m going to be specific, and I want to hear your side before I draw any conclusions."
The informal first
Before anything formal, try the honest conversation
The informal stage is a genuine attempt to fix the problem — not a procedural step on the way to something formal. A direct, honest, well-prepared conversation at this stage often changes the outcome entirely. Document it regardless, so that if things do escalate, the history is clear.
"I want to be honest with you before this becomes a formal conversation. Here’s what I’m seeing. Here’s what needs to change. And here’s what I’m offering to help you get there."
Ready phrases for the moments that usually come out wrong. Edit to fit your voice — the goal is directness without cruelty.
When you've waited too long to say it
"I want to name something I should have said sooner. I've been hinting at this, but I haven't been direct — and that's on me. I'm being direct now."
When they get defensive or push back
"I hear you, and I want to make sure I've understood your perspective. Can you say more about what you think is being missed here? I'm not trying to win this conversation — I want us both to leave with the same picture."
When the conversation gets emotional
"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere, and there's no rush. [Pause.] When you're ready, I'd like to keep going — because I think this conversation matters."
When you need to close with clarity
"Before we finish — I want to make sure we're both clear on what we've agreed. From my side: [state what you committed to]. From your side: [state what was agreed]. Does that match what you heard?"